Implantation At 13 Weeks

cold and wet and cloudy

I think I get last autumn blues.
Actually not really anything bad, just cold, rain and the fear of the seminar. I mean, I already had so many seminars and most were interesting and I was good, but in history? When the teacher? In previous experiences? Even teachers were 2 times in my work history, total shit. And the topic is not really me. I mean, somewhere already, but have beeen at another level, as it will probably be expected. I'm even a lot of time. I need only 3 days a week to work and have the rest for free the seminar. Well and the thing with the thesis. I feel like something very small, which come in front of a giant, menacing mountain and stands little chance to, over. Mainly because I do not even know what to expect on the other side.

I know full well that life is good and I'm really happy and well satisfied with my life. I always have someone who likes me and who is there for me, but I still feel lonely, then again. I think I'm not doing much with my friends at the moment but we are all very busy and have to do and this and that ... if we see ourselves, it is really great and fun and I feel I hereby repealed.

I wonder what my talents are and how I could use. What will I do when I want to go. I revise my philosophy of life. What are my goals? Where will I go? Before, I always had pictures of me, what the next few years is going to happen ... a while others have given me these pictures and now this is nothing. Not a drohenedes nothing, no eerie emptiness, but a white sheet. And as for a Writer's Block I sit in front, do not know whether I take colored pencils, watercolors or pencil, where to start udn what will show the image. I know that the image is in my head, but defends move to's Journal, but here It is more of a nothing. No picture, the struggles ... because none is there.

Donate Blood For Cash In London

* blah *


Right now, I guess I'm just not made for relationships. It could be because I am 6 years in a permanent relationship was or about how the letze come to an end, but I almost feel that Kai was right but really, with what he has accused me, after a while I lose interest in the person. When friendships happens to me, however. What I find scary is that I fight in my relationships always with atopic dermatitis, hardly is the relationship to end, I am free of symptoms. And it's not as if I had not yet stress, on the contrary.
I see at the moment relations only as stress. As it would only requirements and narrowing - I know I have it sometimes felt different and I will not say even people in a relationship, that they are dumb, but the thought of a relationship dissolves stress in me. This is not as the evil Martin has spoiled me, "to understand. I wonder just what I have in my relationships myself persuaded to do, for love's sake. Perhaps my opinion is
to change even if I "the right" ... encounter but right now I enjoy my freedom too much. No one to have in the background. Me to justify not to think about it, what someone would say, No dates have to coordinate. I thought for a while, I need someone for me "the most important person", but am I realized that me that's almost too hard and too much responsibility. I get so much encouragement from family and friends that I do not need anyone to whom I am "very" important.
Maybe this is just another phase in 3 months and I moan because I did not have any new partner, but I can be with the idea of single much better navigate and less to do with someone to be with.

Which leads me to my next thought. I wonder just whether I'm probably going to fall in love. In part, it seems, in part, I am also right ... "Smitten" to briefly consider it "the stupid idiot." I can not even tell him. First, because I do not even know exactly what I think and second, because I worry about his reaction. The best part is that I would say most like "I find you animal mad and want to see you more often, but not more. I will not constrict, and I will make no demands on you, but I want you to know that you trigger a little tingling sensation in me. "
We are really well together and can talk well, but sometimes I think our world views collide just too much. Sometimes he says things that make me just go up walls, But mostly I understand him and he is also intellectually stimulating. He is always as simple, and "shrewd", but he's hell of a lot on the box. Sometimes when we are alone, it sounds almost tender, but there is no great approach ... where we are already very were close. If others are in the process we bicker constantly, then acknowledge what the other with "You sound like an old married couple." Christian said we would love sound like teenagers who do not dare. But I admire him so that he would just say what if he really wanted what.
I want at the moment anyway simply take time to get everything on me. Nothing to break over the leg. Not something behind her run, which perhaps is not even there and just enjoy the time. Let's see what will be.

Is My Nubian Goat Pregnant?

fragments from the date

First a quote from German bash:
[Inki] I am suffering at the torrent-syndrom
[Inki] needs. everything. Download.

am at work. Was in the library have udn the last items picked out.
Before law school I've Thorsten, Johannes taken udn THomas ^ ^ that was fun. John said that I looked "fresh" from. Thorsten has gemekert times again, he would not happy Menshcen like, but every time I see him, I'm just happy * g *


From Lyxzén (she has from ner's email): love the man who calls you "pretty" and not "sexy". The calls you back, even if you have opened. The remains awake, only to see you sleeping. The kisses your forehead. He wants to show up all over the world, even if you are not dressed. Which it is not important whether you over the years have become thicker or thinner. The one that says: "What do you want to eat today, I cook." The one who takes your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who keeps telling you what you mean to him and what he is for a lucky to have you. And you imagine his friends, saying: "This is it." Love him, because he loves you and will probably always do.
Somehow made me sad, but I hesitate lately anyway ziemnlich from deeply saddened very happy.

Tonight nor the first Instanzrun our guild, in the Deadmines. Any conversation in the BDL-Ts, because there are huge cracks in the moment. Tomorrow, "V for Vendetta" with wuglet . Sunday brunch, with dark star and exile puck and perhaps others.

The lindens are still blooming ♥

Difference B/w Ppo And Dmo

confusion

I should not think to a certain man. Because the 1) early and 2) nonsense. But I status. Very, very sick.
I have no desire to speak with Martin ... not with the now-Martin. By that time, Martin, yes. But no more. But I find myself slowly with it. Me is actually really good. Since then I've

again a much better relationship with Niko. What is not in the separation, but because we were back there anymore for each other. This is a very nice feeling. Talk to Niko's good.

I had with Martin sometimes feels like I'm living on "borrowed time". I always hoped it would not happen, but I've been waiting for something to happen and it's over. A very sad thought, because time was so beautiful and he really had a piece of my soul in him and I as well.

I wish someone at the moment as a Bollywood film, which is also very stupid. Someone you for everything. "The man just for me alone," as it in CLAMP Chobits.
I want to again have this feeling that the heart does step aside and you're out of breath ... Without one's heart seems to sink into a black hole. More like a dance over an abyss in which it is held firmly and plunges into the risk and everything just so beautiful is. And I want
zui can look up to him.

Let's see what the future holds.

Find A Boat To Rent And Live In Portland Or

Argh

I formulate animal problems with it. I'm not sure if it's because I mostly read in English and (in LJ) write, or if I've been writing too long simply no more housework, but the words go smoothly me about it. I have facts in mind, but I can not put on paper and when I write something, it is very scarce. Maybe it's because I just do not feel like working on this house and animal fear of the master's work, or during cloudy weather or what I know, but I now have 4 pages, I need at least another 12 or so and war no evidence.
this sounds, I also write special Erlich not scientific, but is rather a list of some facts. What is wrong with me if you please!

addition, of course, my connection is back to throw up. I have no idea if it's the router or Stefan, but it's really annoying.

I'm curious as I am about this year's carnival. So far it is planned that tomorrow morning I go to the historic course, books I afraid, then on the work by look, I'm acquainted with how the "holidays" are as regulated and bury me over the weekend. Friday night will be held probably in what Mari, but at home, without the carnival.

I eat too much (boredom, frustration), squat too much at home around (wow, work and laziness) and baked war enough. At least I do every 2 days sport ... I need to clean up everything and create clarity everywhere.