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The need me again to get rid of the idea of chaos in my head. Writing down always helps, but it was not long now be needed. Actually, it's just not mandatory, but anyway.
Frankly, it's in my head just incredibly peaceful or I have it switched on or off. Much seems to me to be back now no matter what I looked at last even as the primary prospects lately. Now had the last month include the property very summery to be what is seen grossly incredibly insignificant, it would also therefore not been as eventful.
In fact, it could be me but the last 6 weeks removed from the life and I would sit with the same thoughts here on our roof in the sun and do my best to find again the joy of writing . Okay, basically this was just an exciting note, yes yes, 6 weeks and I am exactly the same as before, which is of course the biggest nonsense one can give on his own melancholy. I might have added much better still, should it would not have changed, sometimes by my poor liver function or blast it apart. My goodness, it just so happened a lot. My belly is as become thicker and this is certainly not the fact that I might have changed my eating habits. But of course I would also be nothing in the world, even for a second want to paint my time.
It's true I'm sitting here and have apparently not made a step forward, in theory you could just tell me I share with the 6 weeks and apart from that I could cut my hair again and shave laundry re apparently nothing else. But I must not make anyone credible that no time passes, not formative for itself. In my case, would fit the title "horror and joy of human relationships." Concise for the last time, is the fact that I have learned some people know better. Especially since I am by several in quick succession, events got out before his eyes, which I always been really important in a person. How trite that sounds, but when I entertain myself with someone and it does not really need when you need not explain. One could criticize that this can work quickly very arrogant, but I have also just experienced the opposite end. If you are also like a lot, but in reality has nothing says. Perhaps that is now arrogant if I myself concluding that these people I do not "insert" in my life can. Why should I do my question then? How long do I have for now already tried to move me into "circles", which to my ideas and aside from my real life do not cut great. Sticking point and incentive of my recollection was that I was in the last few weeks was often in the JUZ. This does not require further explanation, since the positive aspects of it should be clear. Negative aspects include that I have tried to at other levels to be satisfied. The result was that I for example (the simplest example) have been to many parties who did not like me and I thought I could be talked to me of the time I would also like see it like, and even otherwise many people I'm perfectly clear who also have the positive property that one has to tell them not against. Since the point where I suspected that this overlap enough with my life. It is sufficient to the everything related to the overlap but not unsympathetic to my ideas, unfortunately, not enough to become so fortunate. That was the point I have not taken a long time, so that I do not that is easy to be happy. But I thought it would and I've been told so many things. I was also firmly believe that sympathy can develop into strong affection for a man if I only want. Without question, I wish I was even so much that I made the mistake again, to convince myself that this is determined over time. Nonsense. This person had, but with so much I mean, that's sympathies were of course without question itself, but that's it then, I did not fit into their lives and the other way around like that.

Thus I moved all of these events lead me to reflect back to me and to act accordingly. I am now even as I am and that for some people, activities or whatever means I can not find it just as nice, I'll never be able to change. I better not do that because I know what and who makes me happy instead / can make. And I can enjoy it enough lately, I should not simply more I could be persuaded otherwise, and should from the beginning and basically just listen to my stomach. But he has won at least good at "persuasion" to do so.

This is fortunately only the slightest movement of my life the last time was. For instance, I am just very happy with me, having the, felt, could not shake tausensten attack on my development from me again. Slowly, one would think that society should finally succeed in time to break free from the pressure to succeed. It seems, however, continue to be a bad habit if you do not know how because you really want to do or what career you want to do with his life. Respectively. I know quite well, it just seems to be no prospect in most eyes. But I wonder what is it, because this seems a far greater task than to find the next job. This is probably because most people who like it as comfortable as possible. So why the Kopsteinpflasterweg, which is lined with huge potholes take when you have as an alternative to a paved road signs have?
The only stress I'm for my future, I do I even at the most, but not because other people view my targets as such. What madness, just as those who are least likely to open your eyes.
Two weeks ago I was on leave and have my time in the morning often driven me a book. I have already praised the worthy gentlemen, but often high but do it even with his, I know, worst work. It is time again with Paul Auster's novel "The Music of Chance". Two weeks ago, I've selected a site because I wanted to use to write something there as a springboard for a theme for. I honestly do not now why. Nevertheless, I quote: "He was back on Zero, and now it was all over. For even the smallest zero was a big empty hole, a circle, the whole world could not believe in him. "
I think that was still in the stage I could worry me, what if maybe a few months am back at zero. But that is now fortunately no longer important.
I was yesterday once again at Rock City. As so often it was then that I also see many people again. The usual, "well how are you? What are you doing? ", Etc. In most cases, I am not interested in the exceptions, but again and again it comes to surprises. So I picked up last frontal served my own idea. Exactly, that perspective but damn, if you are happy with it. In conversation, we came up with our favorite group of people, namely those that the question is what grade for so do with the question "How?" No more? "Follow. - No! Not one bit more.
me, this entry is already way too long. And I would have a very social-psychological issue to which we came yesterday in the interview. We actually even talked of different generations. My conversation partner as I do a little brother, the one already in another generation might lie. We were not sure what it is that this "generation" is far less socially critical indeed as we did not see or less the obvious points of criticism in the world. I never got the feeling that my brother would not understand me when I was talking to him about my attitude. But why, this results in nothing more. I know that this is far from being a sign of greater commitment. But where the small town punks are today, where the revolutionaries are tomorrow? Are we the last generation, or I get the only no longer with. What is the difference to us? Our first idea was that the mass media, but believed that this is too easy an excuse. But something better occurs to me a not. Is the Internet really to blame, that the majority of youth who come to us are happy with what they have, that they may have so far resigned, that anger means nothing because you new perspectives on the Internet much easier place because the world can be much more comfortable if she is not real?
I suspect it somehow and still naive, that I look completely wrong. That I do not have the overview of how the generation after us looks. I hope ..... you can not force them.